i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
