Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
