If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
