new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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