could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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