I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
