Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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