well most of my day revolves around power hour
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We had sex on a dog bed..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
