she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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