you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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