if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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