I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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