I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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