I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
there is glitter all over my balls
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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