K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
