How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
