I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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