is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
