i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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