FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
