Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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