I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
they need to just BURY HIM!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
