smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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