My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
