did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
