Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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