i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
