So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
