I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
