Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
