you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
