i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
