There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
