I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
