Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
