I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Actions speak louder than pants.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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