i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
