i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
