have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
