She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
