you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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