ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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