He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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