at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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