I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
nutella sex= disaster
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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