TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
