She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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