I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I didn't shave. On purpose
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
if only i could text you this smell
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
