Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I had to cum in my sink.
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