i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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